Dear J293, We're Breaking Up

 Dear J293-

I know this will come as a surprise to you, but I'm leaving you.  Things were great in the beginning.  You seemed like a great way to hang onto things I was sure I needed. In the midst of chaos and upheaval, you were safe and reassuring.  Letting go is scary, you advised.  I can help you hang on, you said.  But two years have gone by and all you do is take my money every month.  We never hang out.  I am building a life I love despite adversity.  I'm moving toward the future despite it being uncertain.  You are hanging onto the past.

I can't do it anymore.  I thought that maybe it was okay because I very rarely see you.  But I've come to understand that you are an energy suck whether I interact with you regularly or not.  I have to let you go.  You'll be okay.  You'll find someone who really needs you someday soon.  It's not personal.  It just didn't work out.  I'm becoming a better version of myself than I had anticipated but you're holding me back. So, I'm breaking up with you.  

Sorry.

(But not really)

Love,

Christine

Two years ago, we decided to let our house go.  We could no longer afford it and I was exhausted from making those "should I pay the water bill or buy groceries?" decisions.  We moved in with family.  We pooled resources.  I have no regrets.  Our house served us well for two decades.  But it was no longer serving us.  

We threw away or donated a ridiculous amount of stuff.  But there was still more.  I rented a storage unit.  J293 to be precise.  I recently made an observation about a friend who couldn't seem to let go of something which was no longer serving her.  As soon as I said it out loud, I realized it was true for me and J293 too.  

I barely even know what's in there anymore.  And really, if I haven't needed it, wanted it or missed it in the last 24 months, is it worth keeping?  I pay for it every single month, so its a financial drain.  But more importantly, it's an energy vampire.  There's a lot of things on my plate right now both challenging and exhilarating.  I can't have my energy leaking away in the form of a storage unit I rarely visit. I've committed to getting rid of it by the end of the year, a couple of boxes at a time.

It's not you J293.  It's absolutely me. And I'm moving on.