This is Weird...Really Great, But Weird

 I woke up the other morning with a peculiar thought in my head.  I'm not sure I've ever had this particular thought.  If I have, it was so long ago, that I don't even remember the last time I had it.  I woke up and thought, "Boy, I love what I'm doing for work."  I'm teaching yoga, earning actual money for life coaching and still doing freelance reporting for a small local newspaper (yup, those still exist).  I like all of it but what's really making me happy these days is my clothing resale business on Poshmark.

It's scary to let go of a safe 9-5 gig and go out on your own.  I have to support my family and I get bogged down with this idea of safety and security. Must. Have. Money. Coming. In.  I've worked multiple jobs.  I've worked jobs I didn't particularly even like but I always had that snarky voice in my head which insisted that doing jobs you didn't like ,was just part of being a grownup.  Doing something I loved, in a way that worked for me, seemed downright irresponsible.  Last fall, eager to take a work-from-home writing job, I found myself spending an entire weekend writing about poker in Norway.  It was soul crushing. It was also a turning point.

Finally, I've realized that I don't just help to support my family financially.  I offer a lot of emotional support as well.  If I spend all my energy doing work I hate, there isn't much left for other types of support.  "Yeah," my mom said semi-jokingly, "You're no good to us cranky."

I love clothes.  I love putting together outfits and although I'm not really brand conscious, I am brand aware.  While other girls were playing with Barbie, I would spend hours with a notebook a calculator and the Sears catalog "buying" clothes.  I had the Fashion Plates toy where you could mix and match plastic templates to create outfits you could color and embellish.  I was obsessed.  Fun fact...the original fashion plates are selling for like $40 on EBAY right now!

A co-worker recommended Poshmark to me years ago.  I had signed up and purchased a thing or two but I hadn't done anything with selling.  My son had made a little bit of money selling stuff from his closet last year and I thought, "Why not give selling a try?"  I have plenty of items in my own closet as a starting inventory.  In fact, like most people, I have too much stuff in my closet.  

This is such a great fit for me.  I'm basically ambivalent about owning things.  It's shopping for things that I really love.  Now, I can shop for inventory (fun!) but not have the burden of way more than I need and also make money.  

For a long time, I've had lofty, change the world goals.  Initially, selling clothes and jewelry seemed a little bit shallow.  Fun for sure, but not world changing.  Then my mom pointed out to me that I was indeed making the world a better place.  "Look," she said, "You're working hard to provide a good customer service experience.  You ship fast, pack nicely and communicate with buyers.  Then somebody gets an item they love, at a discounted price and they're happy.  In turn, they maybe don't shout at their spouse or kids and they're nicer to the cashier at the grocery store.  Plus you're helping to keep stuff out of landfills." 

"Besides," she added, "you're happier. You think that's not world-changing?" Boom. Mic drop.

In a recent blog, I talked about unexpected blessings and this is one of them.  If my husband hadn't had tons of doctor's appointments and needed more and more support with his diabetes, vision loss and dementia, I'd still be working in childcare, terrified to do something different.  There's nothing wrong with childcare.  I worked at a great place and met some wonderful people.  But it's not what I'm meant to do.  

My new mantra is, "I am building a life I love."  Even amidst greater challenges and losses than I've ever faced, this is still true.  I am building a life I love, changing the world, taking care of the people who rely on me and having fun at work. Who knew?