Yurts and Dating Myself
My bucket list is long. I add new things to it all the time.True, I cross some off as I accomplish things but I'm also always adding. . I'm passionate. I get excited about things. Recently, I've become fascinated by yurts and the idea of camping in one. Add that to the list. I mentioned it to my husband. He was unimpressed. I mentioned it again later. He asked, "What is this weird obsession with yurts?"
"It's just something I'm interested in," I said. "Don't you have any weird obsessions?" I asked.
"Not like that," he replied.
"You should get some," I said pointedly.
Today, I finally said, "This summer, I'm going to camp in a yurt. Alone."
"Alone?" he asked incredulously.
"Yup, alone. You've already made it clear that you aren't interested."
The alone marks a turning point for me. I don't like to be alone. I have spent very little time in my life alone. My friend Ann Marie is convinced, that it would do me good to spend more time alone and maybe she's right.
Here's the thing...I have a lot of relationships that are important to me. I have people I REALLY, REALLY love. You know who you are. But I'm no good to anyone unless I fall hopelessly in love with my own life and myself too. I'm not talking about narcissism so much as self-acceptance. I want to be interesting to myself. I want to have adventures and I don't want to hold back on having them just because I might be the only one who is interested in certain things. I'm certainly receptive to adventures with other people too but I am no longer going to discount experiences just because I might have to do them alone.
It's time to start dating myself and not in a creepy, "I-was-around-for-the-80's-and-remember-when-MTV-used-to-play-music-videos" kind of way. No, it's time to start enjoying my own company. My friends, I'm not ditching you, I swear. I love you all as much as ever. Kelly, I still want to take a pole dancing class. Mary, we're still taking a girl's vacation. Melissa and Jen, I still want to get up to Mavis shenanigans. Everybody, I still want to do all that stuff we daydreamed about. Sign me up. Count me in.
But I also want to do all that weird stuff too that nobody else is interested in, like learn to tap dance and sword fight and surf and publish anthologies of poetry and write haiku (maybe not all at once though). Until recently, I would never have even contemplated going camping by myself, yurt obsession or not. Yet I feel like I'm okay with it now. Time to fall in love with my life. Time to really embrace my badass self. I recently told a friend, "I'm a badass, didn't you get the memo?"
He joked, "You send out memos?"
"It wasn't from me," I said. "The universe sent it."
And it did. And it's time for me to start paying attention.
"It's just something I'm interested in," I said. "Don't you have any weird obsessions?" I asked.
"Not like that," he replied.
"You should get some," I said pointedly.
Today, I finally said, "This summer, I'm going to camp in a yurt. Alone."
"Alone?" he asked incredulously.
"Yup, alone. You've already made it clear that you aren't interested."
The alone marks a turning point for me. I don't like to be alone. I have spent very little time in my life alone. My friend Ann Marie is convinced, that it would do me good to spend more time alone and maybe she's right.
Here's the thing...I have a lot of relationships that are important to me. I have people I REALLY, REALLY love. You know who you are. But I'm no good to anyone unless I fall hopelessly in love with my own life and myself too. I'm not talking about narcissism so much as self-acceptance. I want to be interesting to myself. I want to have adventures and I don't want to hold back on having them just because I might be the only one who is interested in certain things. I'm certainly receptive to adventures with other people too but I am no longer going to discount experiences just because I might have to do them alone.
It's time to start dating myself and not in a creepy, "I-was-around-for-the-80's-and-remember-when-MTV-used-to-play-music-videos" kind of way. No, it's time to start enjoying my own company. My friends, I'm not ditching you, I swear. I love you all as much as ever. Kelly, I still want to take a pole dancing class. Mary, we're still taking a girl's vacation. Melissa and Jen, I still want to get up to Mavis shenanigans. Everybody, I still want to do all that stuff we daydreamed about. Sign me up. Count me in.
But I also want to do all that weird stuff too that nobody else is interested in, like learn to tap dance and sword fight and surf and publish anthologies of poetry and write haiku (maybe not all at once though). Until recently, I would never have even contemplated going camping by myself, yurt obsession or not. Yet I feel like I'm okay with it now. Time to fall in love with my life. Time to really embrace my badass self. I recently told a friend, "I'm a badass, didn't you get the memo?"
He joked, "You send out memos?"
"It wasn't from me," I said. "The universe sent it."
And it did. And it's time for me to start paying attention.
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