This Is What I Know

I've just accidentally deleted this entire post, twice in the last fifteen minutes.  Apparently, I've forgotten how to type.  Here's hoping the third time lets me get my thoughts down.

I happily spent today at home due to a late-season nor'easter.  I think I used my time well.  I tackled the big ridiculous pile of clothing in my bedroom.  The pile that was so huge that ironically, I couldn't find anything to wear.  This was a pile which my husband (unable to feel his feet and with lousy vision) continually tripped over.

I accomplished a lot.  There are about ten trash bags sitting in the hall waiting to go to the thrift store, Scarily, I still have WAY too many clothes but it's a work in progress.

 Son number two owes me money but I said he could work it off by loading said bags into someone's car (hopefully his brother's).  

Me: Can you please drop bags off at the thrift store if your brother loads then into your car?

Son Number One: Ummm...I guess.

Me: I could bring them myself but do you know what happens when I drop things off at the thrift store?

Son Number One: You go to the thrift store?

Exactly.  It's a wise child who knows his mother.  But donation logistics aside, I realized something today.  In addition to trying to accomplish a spring clothing purge, I'm also working on losing some weight.  Chronic pain has me feeling less than fabulous and while weight loss may not help, it certainly won't hurt.  I lost three pounds last week, so go me.

I've been fighting these weight loss and getting rid of stuff battles for most of my life, with varying degrees of success and varying levels of enthusiasm.  But I know this: these two things are connected.  If I can get a handle on one, I know that I will be able to get a handle on the other.  I don't know how I know this but my intuition, which I trust, tells me it is so.

When shopping or eating, my brain often screams lack.  There is not enough!  There will not be enough!  If one is good, more are better!  These statements aren't true.  And thanfully, they don't seem to apply to other areas of my life where a false sense of deprivation could really be scary (alcohol, pet ownership, husbands)

I don't know why my brain says there isn't enough.  Why I buy (then hang on to) things I don't really need.  Why I eat when I'm not hungry (and "because there are donuts" is not a great reason). But I'm going to figure it out and when I do, not only will I be thinner but I might even be able to see my bedroom floor.