Give It Up, Girlfriend. You're Not Going Back To Sleep...
Forces of Chaos has always been about clutter. Some of that is physical, "what-the--heck-is-this-and why-am-I-keeping-it" variety. But some of it is mental and emotional clutter. Old habits which are no longer serving me. This post is about the latter type.
Back in the day, sleeping was never an issue for me. True, I didn't always get enough sleep, but I never had more than an occasional difficulty in falling or staying asleep. I once, famously got up, took a shower, got dressed, put on makeup and went back to bed for four hours!
For the moment though, those days are gone. Restless Legs Syndrome and chronic stress have made quality sleep hard to come by. I'm not whining here. It is what it is.
No, the problem is with my stubborness, which sometimes serves me well but not so much in this instance. It's 3am. I'm awake. I need to just get myself out of bed and do stuff (and there's always plenty to do!). But no. I remain. I struggle. I toss and turn. I fight the inevitable. There's no way I'm going back to sleep but I can't seem to let go of the fond wish that I might.
Someone recently favorited a Forces Of Chaos on Twitter. A little heart notification popped up on my phone and I was happy. I realized I hadn't posted anything in a while and wanted to write something. I've spent the last few days, thinking of a topic.
Here's the conversation I had with myself this morning.
Me: Hey! You could blog about your complete unwillingness to get up when you can't sleep.
My cranky, petulant, inner-five-year-old: Yeah.
Me: I mean, you could write about it right NOW. You could actually get up, instead of being uncomfortable and awake in bed.
Five-year-old (whining): But it's 4:08 am and it's still really dark.
Sigh. Old habits die hard but it's definitely time to let this bit of clutter go. I tend to believe that I can overcome anything through sheer force of will. Never give up. Never surrender. I think in this case, surrender might be my best option. I'm not sleeping anyway, may as well get stuff done.
How about you friends? Anyone with chronic pain, RLS, insomnia, anxiety, over-active imaginations? Are you awake when everybody else is asleep? Message me at 3am. We can chat. (If I can manage to get my butt out of bed...) ☺
Back in the day, sleeping was never an issue for me. True, I didn't always get enough sleep, but I never had more than an occasional difficulty in falling or staying asleep. I once, famously got up, took a shower, got dressed, put on makeup and went back to bed for four hours!
For the moment though, those days are gone. Restless Legs Syndrome and chronic stress have made quality sleep hard to come by. I'm not whining here. It is what it is.
No, the problem is with my stubborness, which sometimes serves me well but not so much in this instance. It's 3am. I'm awake. I need to just get myself out of bed and do stuff (and there's always plenty to do!). But no. I remain. I struggle. I toss and turn. I fight the inevitable. There's no way I'm going back to sleep but I can't seem to let go of the fond wish that I might.
Someone recently favorited a Forces Of Chaos on Twitter. A little heart notification popped up on my phone and I was happy. I realized I hadn't posted anything in a while and wanted to write something. I've spent the last few days, thinking of a topic.
Here's the conversation I had with myself this morning.
Me: Hey! You could blog about your complete unwillingness to get up when you can't sleep.
My cranky, petulant, inner-five-year-old: Yeah.
Me: I mean, you could write about it right NOW. You could actually get up, instead of being uncomfortable and awake in bed.
Five-year-old (whining): But it's 4:08 am and it's still really dark.
Sigh. Old habits die hard but it's definitely time to let this bit of clutter go. I tend to believe that I can overcome anything through sheer force of will. Never give up. Never surrender. I think in this case, surrender might be my best option. I'm not sleeping anyway, may as well get stuff done.
How about you friends? Anyone with chronic pain, RLS, insomnia, anxiety, over-active imaginations? Are you awake when everybody else is asleep? Message me at 3am. We can chat. (If I can manage to get my butt out of bed...) ☺
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