Bragging Rights?
This weekend was absolutely full of social activities for my husband and I. Those activities were filled with parents and I overheard a lot of bragging about a lot of kids. I heard about multiple sports teams and tournaments and academic awards and private schools.
My kids tried sports (baseball, karate, swimming, basketball) and although they had fun, they weren't really feeling the whole competitive thing. They work really hard in school but they're not doing anything astonishing. And honestly, even if they were academic or athletic superstars, that wouldn't be what made me proud of them, Make no mistake; I am really proud of them. But the things I love about them aren't anything anyone else seems to be bragging about and I don't know why.
My kids are kind. They are compassionate. They have friends of all races, genders and sexual orientations. They take people as individuals. They aren't racist or homophobic or xenophobic or phobic of any sort.
When our dog passed away a few months ago, their friends picked up shovels and helped us bury her without being asked. I told my boys that while this said a lot about their friends, it said something about them too. You get loyal and loving friends by being a loyal and loving friend.
A few weeks ago, my oldest son said, "Did I tell you the story of how I kicked a racist out of the lobby at work?"
"No," I said, "But that's a story I very much want to hear." And he told me.
This is the stuff that makes me proud. My kids stand up for other people. They're polite to waitresses and cashiers and random strangers. They visit their grandparents and take care of their younger cousins. They watch out for their friends and they get really upset when people are judgmental or mean-spirited.
So my question is: Are parents not bragging about their kids being nice because their kids actually aren't very nice OR are we seriously undervaluing the power of kindness and compassion? Do people think it's not important how their kids treat people? It's always been tremendously important to me. (I always told my kids that if they were bullied, I would be upset but if I found out they'd been the bully, they were going to be upset!)
It's fine to excel it whatever you chose to do but what really matters in life is how you treat people and that is what I want to brag about with my kids. What you do matters a lot less than how you behave while you're doing it.
So, yeah, that's great that your child plays six sports and has a 4.0 average. Oh, my kids? My kids are amazing too. You wouldn't believe what nice human beings they are.
My kids tried sports (baseball, karate, swimming, basketball) and although they had fun, they weren't really feeling the whole competitive thing. They work really hard in school but they're not doing anything astonishing. And honestly, even if they were academic or athletic superstars, that wouldn't be what made me proud of them, Make no mistake; I am really proud of them. But the things I love about them aren't anything anyone else seems to be bragging about and I don't know why.
My kids are kind. They are compassionate. They have friends of all races, genders and sexual orientations. They take people as individuals. They aren't racist or homophobic or xenophobic or phobic of any sort.
When our dog passed away a few months ago, their friends picked up shovels and helped us bury her without being asked. I told my boys that while this said a lot about their friends, it said something about them too. You get loyal and loving friends by being a loyal and loving friend.
A few weeks ago, my oldest son said, "Did I tell you the story of how I kicked a racist out of the lobby at work?"
"No," I said, "But that's a story I very much want to hear." And he told me.
This is the stuff that makes me proud. My kids stand up for other people. They're polite to waitresses and cashiers and random strangers. They visit their grandparents and take care of their younger cousins. They watch out for their friends and they get really upset when people are judgmental or mean-spirited.
So my question is: Are parents not bragging about their kids being nice because their kids actually aren't very nice OR are we seriously undervaluing the power of kindness and compassion? Do people think it's not important how their kids treat people? It's always been tremendously important to me. (I always told my kids that if they were bullied, I would be upset but if I found out they'd been the bully, they were going to be upset!)
It's fine to excel it whatever you chose to do but what really matters in life is how you treat people and that is what I want to brag about with my kids. What you do matters a lot less than how you behave while you're doing it.
So, yeah, that's great that your child plays six sports and has a 4.0 average. Oh, my kids? My kids are amazing too. You wouldn't believe what nice human beings they are.
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