Meltdown in The Hallmark Aisle
Father's Day has never made me cry before. Mother's Day totally has. On Mother's Day, I've cried for joy because I wanted to be a mom since I was three years old. I've cried in grief on Mother's Day too, for those babies I never got to meet, hold or see grow up. But getting all emotional on Father's Day is a new one for me.
I went to Walmart yesterday to get milk, cat food and toilet paper. While I was there, I realized that we hadn't bought any Father's Day cards yet. I picked one for my husband and that was easy because, right away, I found some crazy looking cat that popped up. (My husband has a long-standing and some what inexplicable love of pop-up cards).
But then I was sad. My father in law passed away two days ago. So, on Father's Day, my husband was going to be without his dad. My Father-in-law, Bill was a great guy and I loved him. Then I was really sad because I realized that we'd all be without him. Not just my husband but my kids, my nephews, my sister-in-law, my mother-in-law and me. We spent hours at the funeral home making arrangements yesterday. We'd all be without him
Next, I tried to pick a card for my dad. My dad has always been incredibly funny. He loves a good pun or a groan-inducing joke. Yet as I looked at cards, I was stuck. My own father has dementia. We have conversations that go something like "You know that thing? The one they put on the thing?" Sometimes, I can figure out what he's trying to tell me but increasingly, as the disease progresses, I'm just as lost as he is.
Sometimes he forgets who the grandkids are. For years, he fixed everything in our house. Now he doesn't know how batteries go in. He doesn't remember which end of the phone to hold and the last few times I've been over, my mother has been explaining the TV remote to him.
I rejected a whole bunch of clever cards, wondering if he would even get them. I finally settled on one with a llama which said simply, "Llove you llots." I may have to explain that one too.
I've been invited to two weddings this summer and I can't tell you how thrilled and grateful I was to receive those invitations. Not only do I really, truly, genuinely like the people who are getting married but also weddings are happy occasions. I'm a positive person generally but this weekend has been tough. I absolutely want to soak up some of that happy.
In the meantime though, I'm the one in the card aisle with tears on her face, looking like she needs a hug.
I went to Walmart yesterday to get milk, cat food and toilet paper. While I was there, I realized that we hadn't bought any Father's Day cards yet. I picked one for my husband and that was easy because, right away, I found some crazy looking cat that popped up. (My husband has a long-standing and some what inexplicable love of pop-up cards).
But then I was sad. My father in law passed away two days ago. So, on Father's Day, my husband was going to be without his dad. My Father-in-law, Bill was a great guy and I loved him. Then I was really sad because I realized that we'd all be without him. Not just my husband but my kids, my nephews, my sister-in-law, my mother-in-law and me. We spent hours at the funeral home making arrangements yesterday. We'd all be without him
Next, I tried to pick a card for my dad. My dad has always been incredibly funny. He loves a good pun or a groan-inducing joke. Yet as I looked at cards, I was stuck. My own father has dementia. We have conversations that go something like "You know that thing? The one they put on the thing?" Sometimes, I can figure out what he's trying to tell me but increasingly, as the disease progresses, I'm just as lost as he is.
Sometimes he forgets who the grandkids are. For years, he fixed everything in our house. Now he doesn't know how batteries go in. He doesn't remember which end of the phone to hold and the last few times I've been over, my mother has been explaining the TV remote to him.
I rejected a whole bunch of clever cards, wondering if he would even get them. I finally settled on one with a llama which said simply, "Llove you llots." I may have to explain that one too.
I've been invited to two weddings this summer and I can't tell you how thrilled and grateful I was to receive those invitations. Not only do I really, truly, genuinely like the people who are getting married but also weddings are happy occasions. I'm a positive person generally but this weekend has been tough. I absolutely want to soak up some of that happy.
In the meantime though, I'm the one in the card aisle with tears on her face, looking like she needs a hug.
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