Many Hats

So, someone recently observed that I wear an awful lot of figurative hats in my life. He further felt that it would be hysterical for me to chronicle them. I'm not sure how much amusement value it has but it definitely fits in with the Forces of Chaos.

Accountant (Did you pay the cable bill?)

Chauffeur (Can you bring my friends home?)

Cook (What's for dinner)

Finder of Lost Objects (Where are my keys?)

Dog Walker (Yay! I LOVE you! Let's go for a walk!)

Quartermaster (Can you buy Cheetos at the grocery store?)

Handyman (Can you install those countertops?)

Plumber (Honey, the sprayer nozzle in the kitchen is broken!  Again!)

Laundress (Is my Bruin's jersey clean?)

Drum Tech (I'm having trouble with my double bass pedal./I don't know how to fix drums. I never even dated a drummer./Will you just come look please?)

Assembler (Will you assemble my futon/bed/bookcase/closet/office chair?)

Social Secretary (When are we hanging out with them again?)

Events Coordinator (What's playing at the movies this week?)

Tech Support (Honey, it's Dad. My computer does this thing when I turn it on. Can you come over and look at it?)

Alarm Clock (Will you make sure I'm up before you leave?)

Record Keeper (How much did we pay in excise tax last year?)

Photographer (Take my picture. I want to update my profile pic.)

Diagnostician (What's making that noise?)

Washer of EyeGlasses (You need to learn to do this you know. Yeah but I'm not good at it, Just help me)

Master of Tools (Do we have a rubber hammer?)

Keeper of the Calendar (Where are the kids?)

Barber (The hair cut place closed early. You'll have to cut my hair, mom.)

Typist (Can you help with my report? )

Research Assistant (What's a math problem which goes with the career of Audio Engineer?)

Spatial Consultant (How are we going to fit this in the freezer?)

Agricultural Prognosticator ( Do you think the farm stand has corn on the cob yet?)

Holiday Facilitator (Where are we going for Memorial Day?)

Referee (MOM!!!!!!)

HVAC Specialist (Mom, help me put my air conditioner in? Get me a new fan? Turn the heat up/down?

Snack Consultant (Help me find something to eat.)

 Noise Control (Why is that so loud?)

Pharmacist (Do we have Tylenol?)

Economist (I don't think we can afford that right now.)

Ecologist (Throw that in the recycling bin, please.)

Loan Officer (Can I borrow some money?)

Mail Clerk (Did we get any good mail today? Did anything come for me?

Benefits Manager (Does our insurance cover that?)

Contact Specialist (What's his number? Do you have her email address?)

Motivational Speaker (Don't worry, sweetie. This happens to everyone.)

Hygiene Specialist (I need deodorant when you go to the store.)

Actress Identifier (Where do I know her from?)

Career Counselor (Which job should I take?)

Athletic Scheduling Researcher (What time is the game on?)

Records Clerk (Have you seen my birth certificate?)

Travel Agent (If we go on vacation, you'll have to find us a hotel.)

Power Coordinator (Do we have AA batteries anywhere?)

Skin Cancer Prevention Specialist (Did you use sunscreen?)

Footwear Consultant (I need new shoes. Do I have clean socks?)

Logistics Strategist (We'll go to the hardware store, get gas, then visit the grandmas.)

Menswear Specialist (You need nice clothes for 8^th grade graduation. Will you take me to rent my tux for the prom? Where's my red tie?

And these are just some of the hats I wear for my family!

This doesn't count the things I do for my friends, co-workers, students and random people I barely know.